Overdiagnosed, My Arse: A Rant
Today I woke up and broke a golden rule: Never read the Facebook comments.
There was recently a discussion on an Australian panel show, questioning whether ADHD is being overdiagnosed. A discussion, that quite frankly, is getting really, really old.
This tripe made it onto my Facebook news feed. I hadn’t even had a coffee yet (or, ironically, my meds) and I was already choosing violence by clicking on the comments. They were as expected.
“This is DANGEROUS!”
“It’s become so trendy”
“It wasn’t like this when I was young”
And my personal favourite…
“Right? And it always seems to be women lol”
Before we address why it “always seems to be women lol”…
Let’s talk about what’s actually dangerous.
Sure, a few influencers online might be casually self-diagnosing after confusing burnout or boredom with ADHD — but the real danger (besides the people spreading this nonsense and causing people to gaslight themselves) is in fact…
UNDERdiagnosis.
Letting people think they’re just lazy, broken, inadequate, or not trying hard enough.
Letting them spiral — into any number of unhealthy coping mechanisms or comorbidities — before anyone even joins the dots.
Misdiagnosing them for decades (if anyone bothers to notice their struggles at all), and medicating them for the wrong thing while their lives slowly fall apart.
Another comment that was made:
If they had ADHD all this time, how have they always kept a job, or had families?
OOF.
Because we MASK.
Because CAPITALISM.
BECAUSE. WE. HAVE. TO.
Society doesn’t care if your brain’s on fire and you’re crying in your car at the end of every single work day — it only cares if you’re showing up. So we do. We hustle. We push. We destroy ourselves trying to survive in systems that were never built for us. And sometimes we lose everything anyway.
We might’ve kept jobs. We might’ve raised families. Some of us have even — if you can believe it, pearl-clutchers — done further study or become scientists or teachers or leaders. THEN had our diagnosis confirmed.
But… at what cost?
I’ll tell you: Burnout. Low self-esteem. Meltdowns (in private, or internally). Depression. Chronic illness. Anxiety. Addiction. Disordered eating. Self-harm. Breakdown after breakdown. Years of expensive and ultimately pointless therapy without ever getting to the real issue. The list goes on.
Why it “always seems to be women”
BECAUSE IT IS.
Because for decades, girls weren’t diagnosed. Because we internalise instead of acting out, so externally we’re “fine”. Because we people-please. Because we’re taught not to rock the boat.
Because ADHD presents differently in AFAB folks, and the research didn’t catch up until recently.
And now we’re talking about it. That’s why. End of.
Diagnosis isn’t easy
Let’s clear something up. People aren’t just strolling into a clinic and walking out with meds. ADHD assessments are:
Expensive — often in the thousands and barely rebated, if at all
Prone to gatekeeping — especially if you’re an adult or AFAB or present in ways that don’t match the textbook hyperactive Bart Simpson stereotype
Hard to access due to MONTHS-long waitlists to see a decent psychiatrist… or even a shit one
Often required to be done every two years to confirm it’s still present (a separate rant entirely), so that medication can continue being prescribed
Done by trained professionals who know the difference between forgetful and neurodivergent and will not throw a diagnosis out willy-nilly
NOT a matter of ‘tell a doctor I lose my keys sometimes and get a script’
People aren’t faking it. They’re figuring themselves out.
ADHD did not appear with TikTok
Social media isn’t diagnosing anyone. It’s giving people language to name what they’ve always felt. It gives us stories that actually reflect our lives. And for many of us, it’s the first time we are seeing ourselves clearly. The first time I saw myself reflected in a social media video, I sobbed.
Yeah, a few people might be jumping to conclusions based on a reel they saw. But for most of us? It’s not a trend — it’s a god damn revelation.
It’s prompting reflection. It’s encouraging people to seek proper assessment and, more importantly, support and accommodations.
Gatekeeping diagnosis because “some people might get it wrong” only delays help for the people who need it most.
Diagnosis is often a grieving process
Let us go through this the way we need to. If we need to make reels about it, if we need to share our stories in some way, let us. Mute us if you have to, we don’t care. We’ve just learned that everything we thought we knew — and probably hated — about ourselves, is literally because of the way our brains are built. And we’re okay the way we are. And we’re not alone. We’ve found validation, community, empathy. This is HUGE.
From the outside, to neurotypical people, it might look like we’ve latched onto a label and we’re making it our “entire personality”. That’s not what’s happening. We are learning about who we are for the first time. We’re giving ourselves grace and learning to be okay with the traits that we were beaten up over for our whole lives.
And we’re grieving the person we might have been if we’d known earlier.
This is our time to heal. If it looks like we’re “suddenly falling apart after functioning perfectly fine up until this point” it’s because we were REALLY good at masking, and now we’re in the painful and messy and liberating process of dropping the mask.
BOTTOM LINE: LET PEOPLE GET THE HELP THEY NEED
This idea that “too many” people are being diagnosed with ADHD is a distraction. The real issue is how many of us were missed. For years. For decades.
Let us catch up. Let us heal. Let us finally understand ourselves.
If this doesn’t affect you, take a seat. You’re giving “no one was gay back in my day, it’s just the fashion” vibes. It’s gross.
I have no doubt that someone out there saw this bullshit “story” and decided against seeking a diagnosis because they’re worried they’re just “jumping on a trend”, or worried about what people might think or say about them. Shoving everything back down. Iron-cladding the mask.
If you’re someone who’s questioning whether you might be neurodivergent — please, please, please — keep questioning. You deserve to understand yourself. You deserve support. Don’t let bad takes keep you from getting what you need.
❤
